Mental health check-in

Flamencology said:
Chemo fatigue is really taking a toll on me, mentally.

I don’t think I’ve done so much as touch a musical instrument in 10 days or longer. Really, I think that the only times it’s happened have been while I’m traveling, ending a major project, in the process of moving, or being in a hospital.

I’m not bored yet, thankfully. Still happy to read and write, listen to music, binge-watch, play chess, spend time with my family… play PlayStation, gods forgive me.

But I don’t feel like me. I miss doing the things that I love. I miss running, taking the dogs out. I miss canoeing. I don’t have the energy to go out for a show or a concert. I don’t have the energy to do any real cooking, even. Fuck, I even miss things like doing the chores or even for taking care of @DdBob when he needs Canadian recovery time. :facepalm:

It’s a drag. I wouldn’t recommend these drugs for purely recreational purposes. You’re better off sticking with the holy herb.
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I know you didn't and don't generally ask for mojo, but sending some anyway. Thanks for starting the thread.
 
Mojo to all who need it.

2nd week of the Easter school holidays and we're away to a gorgeous little cottage on our own semi private beach cove. There's a ship wreck and everything about 50 yards into the water.

Hot tub, wood fire etc... and Lola has finally learned the art of not being allowed in the bedroom (house rules, not ours) so we're not being woke up at 3am with her wanting to play.

It's our 7 year anniversary today too which seems crazy how fast it's gone. we have steaks and champagne for later.

Feeling very relaxed and rejuvenated going into the final term at work.
 
I should have checked in on this thread last week… my wife was out of town, so the gloomy cold weather, my stressful job where I can go days without talking to anyone in person except the security guard and the 7-11 cashier, had me really wallowing. :(

I ate like shit, and was laying in bed watching movies to fall asleep every night by 9:embarrassed:0. I didn’t even really practice much because I don’t have any shows for a month.

My cats kept me entertained, the weather got a little better and I was able to play about 16 holes of disc golf (the course was pretty flooded and soggy so I skipped the ones where the basket or fairway was either underwater or a mud pit.)

Wife came home over the weekend, and the sun has come out this week. If Peeker had passed earlier in the week, I would have been a mess… but I instead used ut as an opportunity to reach out to some of my long distance friends and I’m feeling a little more balanced today.

Actually started working on a Looper arrangement of EWF “September” yesterday. It’s a weird and wonderful song because technically there are no chords. You “hear” the chords that are the stacked bass, guitar, horns, and vocals… but they’re all playing single notes and double stops. :messedup:
 
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Heard something quite surprising but positive about my work situation this week. It could of course come to nothing but fingers crossed it comes to fruition.

Totally unrelated, we had a firm out to power wash out roof today and I can't believe how happy the difference has made me when I pulled in after work!
 
jbj said:
Heard something quite surprising but positive about my work situation this week. It could of course come to nothing but fingers crossed it comes to fruition.

Totally unrelated, we had a firm out to power wash out roof today and I can't believe how happy the difference has made me when I pulled in after work!
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Nice!
 
Work has been pretty darn stressful with a big series of layoffs announced prior to the holidays last year. Finally got word today that my job is secure but damn, 3 and a half months of speculation and watching friends get laid off takes a toll. (I've got well over a decade in with publicly held fortune 500 companies so this wasn't my first rodeo. Shit gets old)
 
Currently in that place in between. Work has begun to become a shit show. Two years from retirement and this crap begins...Sigh....

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I am feeling stagnant in my position. I actually have had a rocket ride in leadership in the VA in the last 4 years. But now, I am 2.5 years in the same position, in charge of a service that I did not design, and have had no real opportunity to reorganize. Through the last 3-4 years, which have been an interesting time in medicine through the pandemic, I have held us together and kept access, quality, and productivity higher then when I started despite an attrition of 40% of providers, now down to just 24%. I need to move on to something new, but I am feeling trapped, as there really is no one coming up behind me ready to take over (not by my doing or from any lack of my doing). So yeah, feeling trapped.
 
MG continues to fuck with me. I keep changing doses of prednisone - been taking it daily for most of the past year - which sort of fucks me up in many fun ways. Sometimes it's easy to forget I have it and other times it's pretty constant - either double vision or an eyelid that naturally stays closed most of the time. I'm seeing a neuro opthalmologist (a specialty I didn't know existed until recently) and hope she can help, but I don't know if there's really anything that's gonna help ultimately. I live in constant terror that it'll progress and I will start to lose function in my arms or legs - or worse throat or diaphragm - so that any time I stumble or have sore muscles I wonder if that's what's going on. It's really been messing with my head. Fortunately, if hasn't messed with my ability to play or sing. I try to feel lucky since it could be a lot worse but mostly I've been feeling sorry for myself - particularly since I've gained a good 15 pounds on the steroid..
 
Saturday was 1 year sober. I did it! Now to get hammered. Just kidding.
Still struggling to eat and no answers from medical. Actually got really light headed this morning before I could shove some form of breakfast down my throat. That'll last me about 2 hours.
 
MonkeyZero said:
Saturday was 1 year sober. I did it! Now to get hammered. Just kidding.
Still struggling to eat and no answers from medical. Actually got really light headed this morning before I could shove some form of breakfast down my throat. That'll last me about 2 hours.
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Congrats on the anniversary!


I've got a friend struggling to keep food down and has gone through a battery of tests. Recently she had her gallbladder removed with no improvement. She's still searching for a solution. Hopefully you find an answer soon.
 
Definitely recognizing how much music is tied to my mental health.

Had a practice a week ago for an upcoming wedding gig, learned some fun new songs (Sister Hazel, new Mraz, and "Hooked on a Feeling") and it's completely turned my attitude around.

Trying to keep that in mind even when I'm not feeling 100% with more playlists that make me happy, energize me, or keep me focused. :baimun
 
Been chipping away at the new garden the past few weeks. It's nowhere near done but in much better shape than what we inherited.

Got two very big days in work Tuesday Wednesday, the culmination of around 6 months of work and probably the biggest thing I've ever done in this place but I'm feeling good about it, earlier this week, not so much. I don't stress very easily so it's always quite weird when I do feel it.

Anyhoo we have a long weekend so meeting a bud for some beers in half an hour, house stuff tomorrow, football on Saturday, house stuff Sunday then chill on Monday and I'll be fighting fit for whatever Tuesday throws at me.
 
baimun said:
Definitely recognizing how much music is tied to my mental health.

Had a practice a week ago for an upcoming wedding gig, learned some fun new songs (Sister Hazel, new Mraz, and "Hooked on a Feeling") and it's completely turned my attitude around.

Trying to keep that in mind even when I'm not feeling 100% with more playlists that make me happy, energize me, or keep me focused. :baimun
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OOOgachukka...... :thu:
 
mongooz said:
OOOgachukka...... :thu:
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I set up the 4th channel of my Sheeran Looper to be the only one that my Vocal Mic will record to... the rest of the time it just passes through to the board. I can sing, play, and loop on the other three channels and only the instruments will record and loop until I select that fourth channel to create a loop. I've already practiced doing one loop of "OOOgachucka..." then overdub 3 more pulled back from the mic a bit with slightly different inflections.... close the loop and then sing "I can't stop that feelin...." with the OOGah's still looping. :helper:
 
baimun said:
I set up the 4th channel of my Sheeran Looper to be the only one that my Vocal Mic will record to... the rest of the time it just passes through to the board. I can sing, play, and loop on the other three channels and only the instruments will record and loop until I select that fourth channel to create a loop. I've already practiced doing one loop of "OOOgachucka..." then overdub 3 more pulled back from the mic a bit with slightly different inflections.... close the loop and then sing "I can't stop that feelin...." with the OOGah's still looping. :helper:
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you know that BJ Thomas did the song first, with no ooogahchuka, back in '68.....right ?
 
mongooz said:
you know that BJ Thomas did the song first, with no ooogahchuka, back in '68.....right ?
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Yeah... it was written by Mark James that wrote for Elvis... then BJ Thomas recorded it.... and then a Brit recorded it... Johnathin something.... and HE was the one who added the Oooga Chucka. The Blue Swede version is a Cover of the Cover. :baimun:
 
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