So I have new neighbours

jbj said:
Apparently they (well I say they, he is pretty timid, it's clearly her calling the shots) are still bitching and moaning to the neighbours - loudly and obnoxiously, about us being a nuisance whilst trying to wreck our wonky (it's not wonky it's just set in squint) boundary fence.

I was out back in the hot tub there enjoying a bottle of wine and a smoke - no bubbles, no tunes, nothing, because it is late and I'm not an animal.

They've got the telly or radio blaring from their room, I coughed and the next thing I hear is their curtains being pulled back and as I gaze up I see the shady outline of either Gozer Gozerian or this dudes mad batshit wife peering down at me from their bedroom window.

I won't say I'm an OGG like character :embarrassed: but I don't do passive aggressive very well and I bought this place off the back of my toil in Saudi Arabia so it very much is my castle - I don't think he'll say shit but I can see things getting fruity between me and his mad wife

Who sounds like Elmo with a 60 a day habit as it sounds. I've been thinking all week - she sounds like someone - and as I heard her squawking over whatever they're watching on TV it hit me - Stop Out Elmo.
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I'm not quite sure how to take that.

I'm actually a very peaceful, non-aggressive guy. I just don't deal well with stupidity or rudeness. I hold my tongue far more often than I say anything at all. Sometimes though, if the situation calls for it, I'm likely to put a verbal smackdown on somebody. Those moments are more rare than you'd think, they're just epic in nature when they do come to pass. I tend to fire both barrels and leave no doubt about my thoughts on the matter.

Sent from Crab Nebulae via reverse engineered alien technology
 
OGG said:
I'm not quite sure how to take that.

I'm actually a very peaceful, non-aggressive guy. I just don't deal well with stupidity or rudeness. I hold my tongue far more often than I say anything at all. Sometimes though, if the situation calls for it, I'm likely to put a verbal smackdown on somebody. Those moments are more rare than you'd think, they're just epic in nature when they do come to pass. I tend to fire both barrels and leave no doubt about my thoughts on the matter.

Sent from Crab Nebulae via reverse engineered alien technology
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We're more similar than initially thought then. :grin:
 
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:facepalm:

was woken this morning by the voice of her screeching down the phone to the gas board about their gas being off.

They've sent a guy round to have a look and she's now shouting at him about how the boiler is broke and the guy who fit it "touched it" and she knew he shouldn't have.

Bloke's like - I've nothing to do with the boiler I'm here to check the gas mains.

She then starts having a go at him because he won't fix the boiler :facepalm:

Ive had no direct drama from them yet but its coming I'm sure.
 
I have a psychic vision. I see a blue and yellow checked Fiat Panda with an old lady in the back seat heading down the road. The Panda comes back but the old lady doesn't.
 
I wish I'd recorded this.


Bear in mind she has no volume setting except WAY TOO FUCKING LOUD and sounds like Elmo - the phone call before the poor guy came out went something like this:


"AYE SO OOR GAS ISNAE WURKIN!!!"

"URR YE DEEF? OOR GAS. IT ISNAE WURKING!!!"

"LES! LES! THE MAN SAID YOU NEED TO GIVE THEM A METTER READING"

*noise of Les coming out to front of house to check the gas meter*

"HE CANAE READ IT, IT'S TOO LOW DOWN - WHO PUT THE FUCKING GAS METER ON THE GROUND?"

"WELL I KNOW THAT'S WHERE THEY USUALLY GO."

"AYE AND I KNOW THERE'S NO SPACE TO PUT IT ON THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE BUT STILL."

"HE CAN'T SEE IT FROM HERE, IT'S TOO FAR AWAY. LES, YOU'LL NEED TO KNEEL DOWN. LES!!!! KNEEL DOWN!!!!"

"HE STILL CAN'T SEE IT, HE'S LYING DOWN NOW. LES CAN YE READ IT?"

*LES READS OUT NUMBERS*

"DID YE HEER THAT? NAW? LES WITS THEY NUMBERS AGAIN?"

*Les reads them out, Elmo repeats them*

"LES YOU CAN GET UP NOW. WIT DE YAE MEAN YER STUCK?"

"HE'S STUCK MISTER. MY HUSBANDS A PENSIONER AND NOW HE'S STUCK LYING DOWN BECAUSE HE COULDN'T READ THE STUPID THING. LES GET UP."

*Les mumbling about how he can't get up*

"I'M GAUN TAE HIV TO GO. LES IS STUCK HERE. SEND SOMEBODY TO FIX THE GAS!"

This was followed by 5 minutes of her berating poor Les as he lay stuck on the ground

:grin:
 
Ho lee phock!

Time to move.

Sent from Crab Nebulae via reverse engineered alien technology
 
OGG said:
Ho lee phock!

Time to move.

Sent from Crab Nebulae via reverse engineered alien technology
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I grew up in a scheme where guys would fight with meatcleavers in front of the swing park and Ive stepped over a passed out junkie or two to get into the close, Elmo and her long suffering husband won't be shifting me.

After a gig I like to sit in my tub with a bottle of wine or a smoke, sometimes both, and just chill, decompress and get the gig energy out if me.

I drove home listening to talk radio about the London attack and decided it can wait until the morning to read or listen to the news.

I jump out the back and they've got their TV BLARING (its 4am) with the news regurgitating all the gory details!

Lucky I like and respect my other neighbours or the bubbles would be going on and Springsteen would be gracing the Bose Bluetooth :embarrassed:
 
My last downstairs neighbor was a nut job, and that's being kind. Yelling at his toaster and watching softcore mon-fri porn at across the street levels all day every day. Confronting him helped not at all.

I feel for ya.
 
I have an elderly 'couple' living next door. I say 'couple' because they divorced - then remarried ten years later (per my landlady). But she lives upstairs and he sleeps in the basement.

She is this tiny 5 foot tall bent over sweet grandma type. Except about 2 months ago she got mad at her 'husband' and started yelling at him and dropping the F Bomb about every 5 seconds.

You could have way worse neighbors.
 
Denverdave said:
I have an elderly 'couple' living next door. I say 'couple' because they divorced - then remarried ten years later (per my landlady). But she lives upstairs and he sleeps in the basement.

She is this tiny 5 foot tall bent over sweet grandma type. Except about 2 months ago she got mad at her 'husband' and started yelling at him and dropping the F Bomb about every 5 seconds.

You could have way worse neighbors.
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Beware if small women.
They will fuck you up.
 
jbj said:
I wish I'd recorded this.


Bear in mind she has no volume setting except WAY TOO FUCKING LOUD and sounds like Elmo - the phone call before the poor guy came out went something like this:


"AYE SO OOR GAS ISNAE WURKIN!!!"

"URR YE DEEF? OOR GAS. IT ISNAE WURKING!!!"

"LES! LES! THE MAN SAID YOU NEED TO GIVE THEM A METTER READING"

*noise of Les coming out to front of house to check the gas meter*

"HE CANAE READ IT, IT'S TOO LOW DOWN - WHO PUT THE FUCKING GAS METER ON THE GROUND?"

"WELL I KNOW THAT'S WHERE THEY USUALLY GO."

"AYE AND I KNOW THERE'S NO SPACE TO PUT IT ON THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE BUT STILL."

"HE CAN'T SEE IT FROM HERE, IT'S TOO FAR AWAY. LES, YOU'LL NEED TO KNEEL DOWN. LES!!!! KNEEL DOWN!!!!"

"HE STILL CAN'T SEE IT, HE'S LYING DOWN NOW. LES CAN YE READ IT?"

*LES READS OUT NUMBERS*

"DID YE HEER THAT? NAW? LES WITS THEY NUMBERS AGAIN?"

*Les reads them out, Elmo repeats them*

"LES YOU CAN GET UP NOW. WIT DE YAE MEAN YER STUCK?"

"HE'S STUCK MISTER. MY HUSBANDS A PENSIONER AND NOW HE'S STUCK LYING DOWN BECAUSE HE COULDN'T READ THE STUPID THING. LES GET UP."

*Les mumbling about how he can't get up*

"I'M GAUN TAE HIV TO GO. LES IS STUCK HERE. SEND SOMEBODY TO FIX THE GAS!"

This was followed by 5 minutes of her berating poor Les as he lay stuck on the ground

:grin:
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I got more Edith Bunker than Elmo out of this, but that's really just about which side of Astoria you prefer. :embarrassed:
 
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