What would you do?

mystixboi1

mystixboi1

Kick Henry Jackassowski
So I have a friend that I’ve known for years. I’ve been in numerous bands with him and been through a lot with him. He’s the one that really kicked my ass when it came to playing guitar. He figured out Cliffs of Dover and For the Love of God when he was 15 years old. He’s a monster…

Even since I met him, we’ve stood by each other. When he cheated on his one GF of 4 years with over 7 other women(multiple times with each woman) and she ended up breaking up with him, I stood by his side. When he dropped out of college 3 different times, I stood by his side. Even though he hadn’t returned a phone call, text or email in a year or so, I got him his first job out of college with my own company. Before he started, I talked him up to everyone saying how smart he is and what a good worker he was. Even after he started, I told him the ins and outs of the company so he could get a leg up on things.

So last week was my bachelor party… he, of course, was invited, but was a no show. Even though he said he would try to make it out for at least part of the evening. As it turns out, my fiancee’s parents are close with his parents… they were hanging out the same night as my bachelor party. When they went back to their house, they saw my friend just sitting in with his GF. They never left the house, they were just hanging in.

I texted him the following Monday: “Hey… missed you at the bachelor party man. Wish you could have been there…”

He didn’t respond for 2 days and when he did, he wrote: “Yeah… sorry man. I was really bummed that I couldn’t make it, but I had a wedding to go to”

As it turns out the wedding was on Sunday evening… not Saturday evening(the night of my bachelor party). He straight up lied to me about the wedding. I can understand if he didn’t want to get bombed at my bachelor party, but don’t lie about it. I would rather have him manned up and said, “I didn’t want to go…”

We just had a department meeting at the office… he couldn’t look me in the eye. I should just let it go, but it bothers me that this person that I’ve known so long, doesn’t even care enough to be honest with me about things. My financee told me to just let it go and ignore him, but I’m pissed.

What would you do?
 
i get into arguments with my best friend from college all the time. i'll spare you the gory details, but it comes down to the fact that people do what they want. i'm not saying you should stop being friends with him. but you need to do what's right for you, and if he wants to be a part of that then great. but if somebody isn't going to even try to get where they want to be, then there's just so much you can do.

i wouldn't ignore him. i'd tell him exactly what you think and how you feel about it. but that he's your friend and you're there to help him with whatever is gnawing at him. if he takes it great, if not, well then it's his loss.
 
murder/suicide

Well, not really. Guy sounds like an asshole. Cut him loose and move on.
 
Obviously the guy has some demons that he's grappling with. If you feel that underneath all of that, your friend still exists, then don't write him off... you can keep him at arms length but stay in his perimeter in case he decides to rejoin the rest of the world.

Unless it's your sibling or spouse, I don't feel that one has any business directly interfering with pulling someone's head out of their ass unless that person is making some fraction of effort as well. If it's your inner circle... then you drag 'em kicking and screaming.



My oldest friend in the world has been going through really rough stuff over the past few years. I've reached out to him and he's unwilling to share or be truthful with me about anything. I've not gotten angry with him or cut him out of my life, but we rarely talk. I make a point of giving him a nod via phone, email or inviting him to things on occasion just to remind him that I'm here if he wants to join people in the sunlight, but I'm not going to drag him out of his cave if he's not ready.


Good luck.
 
OMG, I agree with Howie.

Although, in truth, what I would do is just bitch about it endlessly to my wonderfully understanding husband and never say anything to my friend.

That's just me though, and I think Prages has come to understand it.
 
Remember that horrible wedding I went to back this summer? That dude had been my best friend for 21 years, but in the last few we've broken down to talking only a couple of times throughout the year. From kindergarten to our freshmen year college we always hung out together, played music, shared families, and everything. After I dropped out I'd still go to hosue parties, come hang out, we'd all go out drinking, etc. There was no single defining moment of drama, but he just started not wanting to hang out with the rest of our friends or me. He found a new crew and he's pretty much ignored all of them except for me and at this point it's based out of that history. On those rare occasions we hang out we make nice and things are fine, but different. He's not my best friend anymore and lots of times he's barely a friend at all, but at the end of the day it really isn't worth getting hung up on and pissed off about how a friendship changes. You're getting married and more important things to focus on than friendship attrition. :shrug:
 
OMG! First you need to find out if he's Team Edward or Team Jacob, because that totally makes a difference. I mean, sure, Jacob has the abs now, but he's basically a dog. Edward is dreamy and he sparkles, so it's like - DUH! - easy choice calling! Hello! Anyone home?

It sounds to me like maybe his girlfriend didn't want him to go and be hung over for the wedding. Then, when asked, he didn't want to say he was whipped, so he just talked about the wedding.

Trade him in on a new PRS friend.
 
fanuvbrak said:
OMG! First you need to find out if he's Team Edward or Team Jacob, because that totally makes a difference. I mean, sure, Jacob has the abs now, but he's basically a dog. Edward is dreamy and he sparkles, so it's like - DUH! - easy choice calling! Hello! Anyone home?.....
Click to expand...



Mouth full of soda....




... I'd like you to meet my monitor.




Monitor..... soda.




:tongue:
 
fanuvbrak said:
OMG! First you need to find out if he's Team Edward or Team Jacob, because that totally makes a difference. I mean, sure, Jacob has the abs now, but he's basically a dog. Edward is dreamy and he sparkles, so it's like - DUH! - easy choice calling! Hello! Anyone home?
Click to expand...

that cracked me up... thanks!!:)
 
fanuvbrak said:
OMG! First you need to find out if he's Team Edward or Team Jacob, because that totally makes a difference. I mean, sure, Jacob has the abs now, but he's basically a dog. Edward is dreamy and he sparkles, so it's like - DUH! - easy choice calling! Hello! Anyone home?
Click to expand...

AN INTERNET FIRST--fucking fanuvbrak was ACTUALLY FUNNY! Nice work, jerko.
 
Sad Navigator said:
AN INTERNET FIRST--fucking fanuvbrak was ACTUALLY FUNNY! Nice work, jerko.
Click to expand...

AN INTERNET FIRST--fucking Sad Navigator was judgemental and CONDESCENDING! Nice work, dickwad.

Oh, did I say first? I meant tired and typical.
 
baimun said:
When you wake up in the morning feelin' like P-Diddy, does brushing your teeth with a bottle of jack get the taste of glitter and fail out of your mouth? :helper:
Click to expand...

No. Next question.

Glitter and fail sounds like the name of a mystixboi + Kerouac Broadway show.
 
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