Listen to this - I need some perspective

jbj said:
That sounds like a no win situation and I'd be inclined to walk away.

Even if the venues are doing their thing to make it legit for the kids to play, it's still a bit of a sketchy area and fair enough - I was in a band that played plenty of bar and club shows when we were 16 and 17 but we didn't have weird parents pushing us to do it

- nor did we have a bunch of adults in tow who would be het if anything bad ever happened....
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The thing that gets me is what bar owner in their right mind would put their liquor license and livelihood on the line for a bunch of kids? The law that kids can be in a bar as long as food is served is meant to be in place for patrons....not the entertainment. At best this is a a stretch of the law and while probably not exactly illegal per se, it's a sketchy situation at best.
 
gtrjunior said:
The thing that gets me is what bar owner in their right mind would put their liquor license and livelihood on the line for a bunch of kids? The law that kids can be in a bar as long as food is served is meant to be in place for patrons....not the entertainment. At best this is a a stretch of the law and while probably not exactly illegal per se, it's a sketchy situation at best.
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Uh huh and you're tits deep in it as they're essentially there with you....
 
Yup....so we have a rehearsal this coming Sunday and I'm going to tell them that I'm done. There are 2 gigs scheduled. A house party for one of their relatives and another gig next month or something. I'll play those two shows if they need me but that's it. I'm not putting any more effort into this. I need to get out while my integrity and morality is intact.
 
And now I get a text from the drummer asking if I can play an opener on Easter night...see what I'm up against here? People have families they spend time with on the holidays still, right?
Even when I was in my last band with this same drummer, he was always pulling this last minute crap...I hate that.
 
gtrjunior said:
The thing that gets me is what bar owner in their right mind would put their liquor license and livelihood on the line for a bunch of kids? The law that kids can be in a bar as long as food is served is meant to be in place for patrons....not the entertainment. At best this is a a stretch of the law and while probably not exactly illegal per se, it's a sketchy situation at best.
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I'm sure it varies from state to state, but there are quite a few clubs here that do 16+ shows and still sell alcohol. I was dubious when my then 16y/o son wanted to see a few of his favorite bands at a local club that was advertised as a 16+ show. So I came along. He went off with his friends, and I went up and grabbed a seat in the balcony. I have to say the club did a great job of checking all ID's and giving wristbands to the adults. They were very proactive making sure no adults bought drinks and handed them to minors as well as making sure the kids were physically safe considering this was a metal show with lots of pits going on. I was impressed, and let him go on his own after that.

The guy who shot this vid was apparently right next to me. My son was on the far side of the floor by the stairs and guitar racks. There must have been 40 bouncers in the crowd, and if things got out of hand I saw them swarm the aggressor and move him straight out of the club. Yes, I survived without earplugs.



One of his friends shot this vid from the floor. I think it's pretty cool that kids are able to see shows of this caliber at their age in a cool setting. Not my style at all, but the kids dig it.

 
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My (presumably unhelpful) position is that you should get the fuck out of Dodge, unless you're being paid well enough that you should keep your fucking mouth shut and ride the money train.

Artistically, it sounds like an unrewarding lose-lose situation.
 
335clone said:
I'm sure it varies from state to state, but there are quite a few clubs here that do 16+ shows and still sell alcohol. I was dubious when my then 16y/o son wanted to see a few of his favorite bands at a local club that was advertised as a 16+ show. So I came along. He went off with his friends, and I went up and grabbed a seat in the balcony. I have to say the club did a great job of checking all ID's and giving wristbands to the adults. They were very proactive making sure no adults bought drinks and handed them to minors as well as making sure the kids were physically safe considering this was a metal show with lots of pits going on. I was impressed, and let him go on his own after that.

The guy who shot this vid was apparently right next to me. My son was on the far side of the floor by the stairs and guitar racks. There must have been 40 bouncers in the crowd, and if things got out of hand I saw them swarm the aggressor and move him straight out of the club. Yes, I survived without earplugs.



One of his friends shot this vid from the floor. I think it's pretty cool that kids are able to see shows of this caliber at their age in a cool setting. Not my style at all, but the kids dig it.

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This seems to be a well organized show. My situation is basically a bar room with no bouncers just the owner(s) keeping people in line. That, of course doesn't mean bad shot won't happen because we all know alcohol can bring out the worst in people. I'm glad you're son was able to have a positive experience with this venue. 20 years ago there was. 16+ club in my area that was similar to you're club albeit on a smaller level but they went out of business a while back.
 
Flamencology said:
My (presumably unhelpful) position is that you should get the fuck out of Dodge, unless you're being paid well enough that you should keep your fucking mouth shut and ride the money train.

Artistically, it sounds like an unrewarding lose-lose situation.
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You're absolutely right on all accounts here....theres basically zero money involved and the kid is doing 80% of the solos, so yeah....not much fun for me. Lol
 
As a parent myself some of my least favorite people on Earth are other parents. They need to shut the fuck up.
 
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When you said "kids band," I got excited thinking you were talking about something like The Wiggles or They Might Be Giants. What you went on to describe sounds like more trouble than it's worth. Unless you've got some worthwhile reasons to stick around (being a mentor to younger players or good money) I'd bounce.
 
So just to give this thread some closure...
I quit the kids band the other night...
I told my drummer friend that my "hearts just not into the kids band but I'd be interested in pursuing an adult band" if he were interested.
I thought about naming all my reasons that I outlined in this thread but at the end of the day, the only person that would feel better about that would be me. Its plain not ok for me to hurt other peoples feelings so that I can feel like I vented and got something off my chest. So in that spirit I told a little white lie...
 
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