Mojo Request I have a structured settlement but I don't actually need cash now. I called JG Wentworth and they berated me like a filthy cur, talking really vulgar!

smurfco

smurfco

Meatus McPrepuce
As many of you know I have a structured settlement, I am pretty sure all of you know this to be true. But I actually am fortunate because I do not, in fact, need cash now. Still, I do have that structured settlement you see. So when I heard a JG Wentworth commercial on TV I heard mention of "if you have a structured settlement" and their phone number, but apparently I missed (or misunderstood) the part about needing cash now.

Anyways I leapt up off the sofa and grabbed a Post-It note and scribbled down the number. I was so excited that I broke out in a sweat, my neck veins were bulging, and after I wrote the number down (so I wouldn't forget it, understand?) my eyes rolled back into my head and I looked up to the ceiling and started moaning and shuddering in ecstasy. (There was nothing sexual about it!)

Once I calmed down enough I got my telephone set up and dialed their number and someone answered the phone, this is how our conversation went verbatim:
  • Hello?
  • Hello, can you hear me?
  • Yes, I can hear you.
  • Is this JG Wentworth?
  • Yes, it is.
  • Just to be sure this is the company JG Wentworth, not the person?
  • Yes that is correct, how can we help you sir?
  • Oh good, that's great. Well, I have a structured settlement...
  • (interrupting) ...and you need cash now?
  • No, not at all!
  • So you don't need cash now?
  • Nope! But I do have a structured settlement.
  • You fucking jerk!
  • Excuse me?
  • You fucking asshole! You bum! How dare you call us if you don't need cash now? Didn't you pay attention to our song? Didn't you hear the whole song?
  • But I thought...
  • (interrupting) You absolute clod! You dumb cunt! Why don't you go and eat a pound of Weimaraner shit?
  • Now I don't really think that's necessary to say.
  • Don't ever call JG Wentworth again you klutz!
And then they hung up on me. This happened to me on Tuesday afternoon and right now it is Friday morning and I haven't been able to think about anything else at all since I had them run me amok with their insults and vulgarity. Please DO NOT call them if you have a structured settlement unless you need cash now, they will yell at you!
 
I called them and told them that I needed cash now. They asked if I had a structured settlement. I said, “No, but I’m willing to get one if you’d tell me how much money I could get.” They said that they couldn’t tell me how much cash I could get until I had a structured settlement. I asked them if I got a structured settlement, could I receive cash the same day? They explained that the process of paying out the cash would take time (days to weeks). So, if you need cash now, you won’t get it until later. Very misleading IMO.
 
I mean, it kinda serves you right. You totally wasted their precious time. Even if you didn't hear the rest of the song, it's right in the phone number: 877-CASH NOW, fer chrissakes!!!
 
micwalt said:
I mean, it kinda serves you right. You totally wasted their precious time. Even if you didn't hear the rest of the song, it's right in the phone number: 877-CASH NOW, fer chrissakes!!!
Click to expand...
The dialpad on my phone doesn't have any letters or numbers on it (they all rubbed off from the hamburger grease that's always on my fingers) so I was just dialing 1-800- numbers sequentially until I got to J.G. Wentworth.
 
I called them just to tell them that I have a structured settlement…

IN MY PANTS!

They didn’t appreciate my sense of humor. The gal did offer me cash now.
 
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