Ha Ha!

[Elias Graves]

Share your favorite guitarist joke or other humorous/ridiculous/bonehead stories here.

GO!

EG

 

[73Custom]

Shouldn't this be in the lounge? ha,ha

 

[Mark Wein]

What do you throw a drowning guitarist?




His amp.

:rim:

 

[Dougie Douglas]

How many guitarist does it take to change a lightbulb?

100... 1 to do it, and 99 to say they could of done it better...


:rim:

 

[hazydaz13]

how do you stop a guitarist from playing?


put sheet music in front of him...

 

[hazydaz13]

how do you get a bass player off your porch?

pay him for the pizza...

ba dum bum

 

[Gary Blanchard]

How about a banjo joke?

What do you call a pretty woman on the arm of a banjo player?

A tattoo.

 

[Mark Wein]

Whats the difference between a Banjo and a Trampoline?

You have to take your shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

 

[Woody_in_MN]

OK - not guitar, but here is mine:

How do you know if the Orchestra stage is level...


The violists drool from both side of their mouths.

(This was told to me by a Violist I was dating many years back.)

- w

 

[Stricken]

The only violinists I know are the nerdy kids who get high honor roll..

 

[Woody_in_MN]

^^^

You missed it - NOT Violinists - Violists.

- w

 

[sxyryan]

How do you make a saxophone B flat?



You sit on it.

 

[PlinytheWelder]

What do you call a Guitarist in Jail?




















Someone visiting the drummer.....:rim:

 

[PlinytheWelder]

Got doubled.....

 

[Tiltsta]

Q: What do you call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless

 

[pvwolfganglp]

Here's a viola joke:

Q: How is lightning like a violists fingers?

A: Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

 

[Elias Graves]

Good stuff. More!

EG

 

[Woody_in_MN]

Q: How do you know when an Oboist has stopped playing?

A: Their head stops vibrating

(OK - if you don't know an Oboe is a double reed - this joke does not work.)

- w

 

[Aahzz]

What's the difference between a guitarist and a large pizza?



A large pizza can feed a family of 4.

 

[Elias Graves]

Q: What do a guitar solo and premature ejaculation have in common?
A: You know it's coming and there's nothing you can do about it.

EG