Question: Do you have superpowers?

[dmn23]

I live in a place that gets 300+ days of sun each year and less than 6" of rain. Yet whenever I wash my car it rains within 48 hours.

I'm a goddamn miracle worker.

What's your superpower?

 

[tiger roach]

I can take any golf swing tip, no matter how sound, and turn it to evil.

 

[VoidTerraFirma]

When on stage, I cause guitar strings to break and instrument cables to short out.

 

[Help!I'maRock!]

Limitless cynicism

 

[BlockInlay]

I can quickly find a compelling reason to dislike anyone or anything.

 

[335clone]

I can summon the wind at will.

Take the calmest day, all I need is a rattle can and a guitar body to paint and instant gusts of wind. Absolutely never fails. Having no garage sucks ass.

 

[Peen Simmons]

Enhanced stamina. Mutant healing factor.

 

[joeboy]

I can shout at a tornado.

 

[jp_nyc]

I forget which day of the week it is even when I’m sober.

 

[GomezAddams]

I can piss women off without saying or doing anything.

 

[Tig]

Apparently, I have a newly discovered super power. I told my store manager Sunday that I don't need his fucking shit anymore, and fuck you in your meathead face, but I still have the low paying, shitty job. icon_conf

Ah, but here's the cool twist: After 8 months of no solid employment leads or interviews, I was able to summon a really good one the day after telling the manager off.
Kids, do NOT do this at home!

 

[sonik]

Unlimited contempt.

 

[GDSmithTX]

I can do a Liz Lemon-level eyeroll when properly motivated.

Also, my homemade enchiladas are just killer.

 

[Steverino]

I can stack up a line of cars for miles. All I have to do is move into that lane.

I also have this power at grocery stores. I can produce an old lady with a checkbook at will.

 

[GomezAddams]

I also have this power at grocery stores. I can produce an old lady with a checkbook at will.

Don't complain. I was at the self-checkout line at Walmart a week ago and the lady in front of me had $50 worth of stuff and proceeded to pull out a huge purse and start feeding nickels, dimes, and quarters to the register.

 

[Honkridge]

I can burn through plates of steel with my eyeballs.

 

[reverend1]

I must, because I have never gone anywhere since 9/11 without receiving "extra security screening." Seriously, you don't want to know me at an airport.

 

[Steverino]

I can also make the wife vacuum the living room, or suddenly decide to tell me all about her day. It's uncanny, I tell you!

 

[mikesr1963]

I have really long farts. Does that count?

 

[Highernoon]

I have newly discovered super-power: I can talk to girls. I mean full sentences, no mumbling, no losing my thread of thought - it's AMAZING!
It wasn't like that when I was single.

I have really long farts. Does that count?

Funny you mentioned this, I can concoct an elixir that gives me this power.