Rather than create another Tonex thread these are my thoughts on it a month in:
My desire to have a sound in my headphones that would then translate into a consistent sound if I play with other people was naive on my part. I forgot that obvious that even excluding the cab from the presets when going into my amp, that Mesa Cab I have has its own sound characteristics I need to adjust for. It's not the end of the world. Most of my stuff is basic rock and roll, so cloned presets I adjusted for is fine.
I am likely going to grab the Amalgam JCM800 pack with DI. That may give me something a little closer bouncing from headphones and cab. I am tempted to get an FRFR cab, but I'm expecting the same tone variation with presets anyway.