I don't know why I even bother

Pine Apple Slim

Pine Apple Slim

Armchair Expert
keeping on with this music thing. Sure, it gives me some satisfaction and peace of mind to mess around a bit, learn something new, but.....
I certainly dont need a studio full of gear to do it. When I was 20-30 yrs old and could have actually benefitted from all this stuff I couldnt afford it.
Now that I'm old and can afford it I'm not getting the benefits.
Im probably never gonna play out again.
Most of my old musician friends have brain rotted into maga creeps I want nothing to do with.
Young people, even if they share my musical tastes and world view, want nothing to do with some old geezer.
The thing I liked best about playing music was doing it with other people. These days it seems like the vast majority of other people suck and arn't worth the effort.
Ive tried home recording but I cant be the engineer and producer and the musician. I loose all creativity and inspiration and nothing good ever comes out of it.
My only real outlet is this one other old guy and we play acoustic versions of Dead tunes on ac guitar and upright bass on Sundays alternating at each others place. Not to brag but I think we're pretty darn good at it, but we cant seem to get any kind of gig other than an open mic. We basically only do it for ourselves. I certainly dont need all the other crap Ive accumulated just for that. Id be just as well off to be back like in 1993 when basically all I had was the upright and a Martin.
Sorry but I just had to rant and wonder out loud why I even bother any more.
 
I'm sorry to hear that. I think that if it's not giving you joy, let it go - or at least the expectations you have for it. I moved to Austin mostly because I had visions of putting a live band together and going "where the music is", but thus far it's been impossible to find people to play with. It's extremely discouraging, but what has helped has kind of been giving up and accepting that it probably isn't in the cards (but being receptive to it if it should happen). That doesn't mean I don't still browse the musicians wanted ads but I'm not expecting anything. I just focus on recording myself now.

But I think that we as a society put too much shame on the concept of giving up. If it's not making you happy then just give up, at least for a little while. Don't try to force something that obviously isn't working. It sucks, but in my experience it sucks less than trying and still failing... you can still be open to something happening if it happens naturally but you have to accept the idea that maybe it's not gonna happen and it's time to let it go... this sounded a lot less depressing in my head before I typed it out but I mean it to be hopeful... sorry.
 
Hang in there man. And absolutely, as Smurfco says, let the stuff that isn't working or bringing you any joy go. Concentrate on the good stuff like the Dead duo, even if it is just for the two of you, there's nothing wrong with that.

I'm hoping I can find other people to make music with once I'm retired (very soon now!) but I am a little pessimistic about my chances of finding like-minded players who want to hang with a guy with my particular "skills." :bigg: But if I only ever play for myself, I'll still keep doing it as long as I get the satisfaction out of it.
 
I was ready to accept my time playing in bands was over when I left what I thought was my last band over 10 years ago. The band may have just dissolved, I don't remember.

And I was ok with that.

But then I saw an ad for a project that sounded like fun. I answered the ad, and 10 years later we're still going strong. Played some great shows, got to do some travel shows, had a ton of fun.

Never say never, you just don't know what tomorrow is gonna bring.
 
My work commitments have made if difficult for me to keep a gigging band going over the last few years. And Covid derailed my recording project involving others so I just basically doubled down on doing my own thing—which I do hope to render into a gigging situation with others. Last year was supposed to be the year for that, but I spent way too much time on the road for anything to get rolling. Despite all this. I’m reasonably happy captaining my own ship as that’s what I dig and I can do it on my timeline.

I guess the point of that is, there’s no “right” way to do stuff and you can do what you like and focus on what you like and change that as needed.

If you’re into the Dead duo, there’s no reason you have to do anything with your gear surplus to make that happen. And I’d wager there’s likely a gigging opportunity for that sort of thing—even if it’s not a club or bar gig which are getting harder for even dedicated bands to make happen. Seems like a regular situation at a restaurant or coffee shop or record store or brewery or other non-standard venue might be doable. I know a number of people in small bands (duos and trios) that have basically given up on booking bar/club gigs because the situations there aren’t awesome.

You can always think about what you want to be a part of and then take small steps to make that happen.
 
Peen Simmons said:
My work commitments have made if difficult for me to keep a gigging band going over the last few years. And Covid derailed my recording project involving others so I just basically doubled down on doing my own thing—which I do hope to render into a gigging situation with others. Last year was supposed to be the year for that, but I spent way too much time on the road for anything to get rolling. Despite all this. I’m reasonably happy captaining my own ship as that’s what I dig and I can do it on my timeline.

I guess the point of that is, there’s no “right” way to do stuff and you can do what you like and focus on what you like and change that as needed.

If you’re into the Dead duo, there’s no reason you have to do anything with your gear surplus to make that happen. And I’d wager there’s likely a gigging opportunity for that sort of thing—even if it’s not a club or bar gig which are getting harder for even dedicated bands to make happen. Seems like a regular situation at a restaurant or coffee shop or record store or brewery or other non-standard venue might be doable. I know a number of people in small bands (duos and trios) that have basically given up on booking bar/club gigs because the situations there aren’t awesome.

You can always think about what you want to be a part of and then take small steps to make that happen.
Click to expand...
Just want to add farmer's markets to peens list of possibilities.
 
I can relate to not needing a studio full of gear for what I do. I was much more productive musically in my 20’s and 30’s. I made do with minimal gear. Now that I own a bunch of gear, I barely use it.

I like playing with other people. Yet, I hate the commitment of time being in a band requires. So, I participate in jam sessions every so often.

If I was single, I’d spend more time playing music. Having a wife and a child means spending time with them instead of my gear.
 
I'm in a weird space of making music for a living but not making the music that "makes me live". During the down times, I've started putting together songs that I can sing and possibly lead a pickup band through with the idea of eventually having my own thing. I'll never not make music, but finding the balance of "things I need to do to pay the mortgage vs. things need to do to feel human" is definitely a trick.
 
Feeling similarly here--i mean, I'm compelled to keep doing it, but I spend a lot of time asking myself why bother. Ever since I quit my last tribute band a little over a year ago, I've been searching for folks with whom to write/record original material with absolutely no luck. I've also been to a few jam sessions, but the level of ability was just so low that I couldn't hang. So I continue to, very occasionally, record my own stuff by myself, post it on YT and FB, get a handful of "Nice!" replies, and then wonder why I put in all that time working on it. I do get together with my old drummer sometimes to help him with his original stuff, so there's a bit of the social, firing-ideas-back-and-forth kinda thing that I used to love when I was doing lots of original music back in the day. So that's fun. I dunno. I'm almost to the point of joining another cover band just for a regular social/musical outlet. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people I just can't be around these days, so that severely limits my options.
Blah, blah, blah. Whatevs.
 
If it's not how you put food on your table or serves some other necessary function, why do things with your leisure time that you don't enjoy?
 
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I can really feel the "I couldn't buy the gear when I could use it most" complaint. I'm in my mid-50s and playing in a covers band that has a reasonable chance to start playing out, but I wish I was in that situation when my back hurt less and I had more energy for original music.
 
I'm winding down the DJing this year so my current musical endeavours are generally limited to getting drunk then mincing about the living room with a dreadnaught singing Oasis, Bowie, Mott the Hoople and half completed 10+ year old original tunes badly.

Mrs JBJ isnt a fan but it brings me joy, you should give it a go. :embarrassed:

People suck after all, musicians doubly so
 
I played with my last band for 1.5 years before I left (2024) . After that I really never sought another project even though I mildly searched with no real intentions. I was just burnt as we were gigging at times up to 10x per month. My focus changed realizing that retirement was 2 years away. That became my focus. Then came the realization of too much gear. I sold some stuff off but never really searched for what I used, needed and was willing to give up. Got more stuff to move and proud of what I have done so far.

What are upcoming goals? Perform, just jam, record, etc?

Just recently a friend of mine who typically hired me in the past asked me to play 3 upcoming gigs in February. Talked it over with the wife and she said to do it. This may determine my future intentions with music but I still will continue to thin the herd.

Good Luck @Pine Apple Slim on what ever you decide.
 
The main reason I still “bother” playing guitar, being in a band, playing shows etc is because despite the hassles I still love the stuff musicians do. I love playing at home, I love the camaraderie and the playing at our weekly band practice, I love showing up at some seedy dump to play gigs, I love writing tunes and trying learn new stuff on guitar. I’m also addicted to the adoration and perks that come with being an active musician.

I’ve been playing in active bands for 35 years and from 1994-2014 I was usually in two bands at the same time. I must like it if I’ve been doing it that long.

Buck up Pineapple Slim! Like the guys in Night Ranger once sang: “You Can Still Rock In America!”
 
@Pine Apple Slim

I feel for ya brother... I reached a boiling point with my one band that I was the one busting my ass to book shows, bringing all of the PA gear, and they never wanted to rehearse (unless it was a paid event)... so I ultimately told them they could start bringing some shows to the table or I will just book shows for myself and hire them on as rate-players. I've done the latter a few times, but for the most part my OTHER band all three of us book shows equally, they actually come to rehearsals the week of shows, and at that time we divvy up the PA gear for everyone to show up at the same times, set up, tear down, and get paid equally.

You know the game.... you can play to make money, enjoy making music with friends, or get out of the house for exercise... pick two. :helper:
 
I lugged out my gear a couple of weeks ago to play at a party. It's the first time I played in front of people in about 10 years. I forgot how much work it was to tear down and setup my rig. Plus, now that I'm in my 50's I don't think I want to move that stuff around on a regular basis. If I start playing out again, I might invest in a good modeler just to save my back and my sanity.

That said, I have had the urge to get into a band again, and I don't really care what I play, it's just fun to perform in front of people. There may be a nice opportunity for me to play a gig in front of a sizeable crowd later this year, but nothing is definite on that yet.
 
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