What to do in Vegas?

SPEAKEASIES!!
There are many many speakeasies hidden throughout Vegas and when we were there I spent much of our time finding as many as I could... but if you want a taste of amazing hidden bars, go to the Cosmopolitan and start searching. The easiest to find is through the janitor closet in the back of the barber shop.... there's a super cool one hidden in the back of the food court (look for the exit with a donkey on the door), but our favorite was one that is on a higher floor, down a non descript door except for a tiny brass ski badge!!!

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And if you go up to the Pawn Shop with the guitars on the wall, there's a bar hidden in the back of that one too!!
 
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baimun said:
SPEAKEASIES!!
There are many many speakeasies hidden throughout Vegas and when we were there I spent much of our time finding as many as I could... but if you want a taste of amazing hidden bars, go to the Cosmopolitan and start searching. The easiest to find is through the janitor closet in the back of the barber shop.... there's a super cool one hidden in the back of the food court (look for the exit with a donkey on the door), but our favorite was one that is on a higher floor, down a non descript door except for a tiny brass ski badge!!!

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And if you go up to the Pawn Shop with the guitars on the wall, there's a bar hidden in the back of that one too!!
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Christ A’mighty. That sort of shit drives me bananas. I’d only go through all this rigamarole if behind the secret door was like a normal bar with $2 Schlitz on tap and free pretzels where I could actually have a good time in Vegas. Maybe get a basket of tots and the jukebox is ancient country and old rock and roll.

$23 truffle nachos?!? I’m gonna throw a chair at someone.

And this person doesn’t know what celery salt tastes like? Banned from Chicago for life. $10 pizza slice?!? Banned from NYC for life.
 
If baimun likes fun drinks and a weird path to a fun bar, I recommend Hala Kahiki in River Grove—an actual old school tiki joint that is in a converted funeral home down by the river. It’s been around for at least 900 years and is the real deal.

Awesome Retro Tiki Bar Oasis. Midwest's Longest Running Tiki Bar

Welcome to the Awesome Retro Tiki Bar Oasis. Midwest's Most Authentic Tiki Bar. We were Tiki long before Tiki was cool. Established in 1964. Great drinks. Great service. Perfect for a staycation, date night, ladies night, something exotic, or just damn good drinks and service
chicagotikibar.com chicagotikibar.com
 
Peen Simmons said:
If baimun likes fun drinks and a weird path to a fun bar, I recommend Hala Kahiki in River Grove—an actual old school tiki joint that is in a converted funeral home down by the river. It’s been around for at least 900 years and is the real deal.

Awesome Retro Tiki Bar Oasis. Midwest's Longest Running Tiki Bar

Welcome to the Awesome Retro Tiki Bar Oasis. Midwest's Most Authentic Tiki Bar. We were Tiki long before Tiki was cool. Established in 1964. Great drinks. Great service. Perfect for a staycation, date night, ladies night, something exotic, or just damn good drinks and service
chicagotikibar.com chicagotikibar.com
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That looks way out in the 'burbs... but I will put it on my list. I love visiting unique bars... I get so tired of chains and BW3s style bars where they're all from the same cookie cutter mold. :baimun:

That hidden ski bar had really good Detroit-style pan pizza and it has smores. Mutha fuckin smores at a bar? fuck yeah. :helper:
 
baimun said:
That looks way out in the 'burbs... but I will put it on my list. I love visiting unique bars... I get so tired of chains and BW3s style bars where they're all from the same cookie cutter mold. :baimun:
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It is in the close-in burbs—it’s in the middle of nowhere but it’s seriously worth a trek. If you’ve been to Three Dots and a Dash in the city, this is like the original pre-gentrification version of that thing that Lettuce Entertain You has corporatized.

If you’re out on the NW side, I also strongly recommend Illuminated Brewworks which is a smutty Satanism and psychedelia themed brewery with solid beers and a really relaxed/friendly vibe. If you’re there on Wednesday they do murder bingo where you shout at terrible horror films for prizes.

And if you are near the Blue Line and want to go to one of the last remaining legit north side dumps, Phyllis’s Musical Inn on Division. Cash only. Fun crowd. Local music.
 
You guys are bar snobs.

I'm good with a discount liquor store. I take my bottle back to my cheap hotel room, with dirty sheets and old cum stains. I listen to sad music on the radio while I drink the bottle, by myself. I wake up in the morning on the floor, having pissed myself. :embarrassed:
 
baimun said:
That hidden ski bar had really good Detroit-style pan pizza and it has smores. Mutha fuckin smores at a bar? fuck yeah. :helper:
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I don’t really do s’mores so that’s not super enticing. And anything that exists mainly as a setting for TikTok or the ‘gram gets on my nerves. (I’m not a theme park person.) Which is kinda why this sort of beat an escape room to find the Museum of Ice Cream full of $25 cocktails thing is not my jam.

I’ve probably read too much snarky post-Marxist philosophy about spectacle and hyperreality to go with the flow when it comes to this stuff. Generally speaking, I don’t really get paranoid, but Vegas freaks me out a little bit and these sorts of things kinda give me the heebie jeebies. I like my carnival/sleaze/exploitation a little closer to the bone.
 
jrockbridge said:
You guys are bar snobs.

I'm good with a discount liquor store. I take my bottle back to my cheap hotel room, with dirty sheets and old cum stains. I listen to sad music on the radio while I drink the bottle, by myself. I wake up in the morning on the floor, having pissed myself. :embarrassed:
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If you walk through the door behind the mirror in the family bathroom near the big pretzel stand in New York, New York you’ll get to a speakeasy called Oligarch where people piss on the bed for you as you drink cocktails out of cups made to look like golden toilets. True story.

For an extra fee you can go to the “presidential suite” where some Russian model will lead you around on your hands and knees by a golden chain while some dude in a suit cracks a whip over yr head.

There’s also a vodka cold plunge tank and you can get your photo taken in their gilded Photo Booth and then they’ll sell you an NFT of the photo. Great time.
 
jrockbridge said:
You guys are bar snobs.

I'm good with a discount liquor store. I take my bottle back to my cheap hotel room, with dirty sheets and old cum stains. I listen to sad music on the radio while I drink the bottle, by myself. I wake up in the morning on the floor, having pissed myself. :embarrassed:
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If I can't do a memorable bar... give me a local townie dive bar any day of the week. Just keep me the fuck away from Applebees and any of that chain nonsense.
 
baimun said:
That looks way out in the 'burbs... but I will put it on my list. I love visiting unique bars... I get so tired of chains and BW3s style bars where they're all from the same cookie cutter mold. :baimun:

That hidden ski bar had really good Detroit-style pan pizza and it has smores. Mutha fuckin smores at a bar? fuck yeah. :helper:
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You need to play FIB and come up here to Wisconsin to see what a REAL bar is like!
 
bsman said:
You need to play FIB and come up here to Wisconsin to see what a REAL bar is like!
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I’ve closed Wolski’s and I’ve had better. Don’t you feel like you’ve been kicked in the curds?

Anyway, it’s funny that Mr. West Coast Fruits and Nuts is out here claiming Midwestern cred. Prolly thinks Naperville is Chicago.
 
@bsman I've spent some time in Wisconsin.... drank at the Pabst factory, the riverfront, ate some fantastic Atomic wings at Buck's on Third, and I made friends with this guy....

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Peen Simmons said:
I’ve closed Wolski’s and I’ve had better. Don’t you feel like you’ve been kicked in the curds?

Anyway, it’s funny that Mr. West Coast Fruits and Nuts is out here claiming Midwestern cred. Prolly thinks Naperville is Chicago.
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Eh - I've lived in Park Forest, Lawrenceville, Willmette, Northbrook, Creve Coeur (MO), met Mrs. bsman at the UW in 1978 and we moved west in 1981 so I can equally claim West Coast and Flyover Country cred...
 
bsman said:
Eh - I met Mrs. bsman at the UW in 1978 and we moved west in 1981 so I can equally claim West Coast and Flyover Country cred...
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Hush. The Midwesterners are talking. Why don’t you throw rocks at the Google Bus and poop on the sidewalk.
 
baimun said:
If I can't do a memorable bar... give me a local townie dive bar any day of the week. Just keep me the fuck away from Applebees and any of that chain nonsense.
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In all seriousness, I only got to bars these days to hear live music. My heavy drinking days are long behind. I'll drink a few beers while I listen.
 
I like to celebrate the best of the local brews in each place that I travel.... You go to Kzoo and we're drinking and listening to music at Bells...

... Grand Rapids? Founders or Brewery Vivant. When we go to the Keys I'm drinking Islamorada Brewing company. :baimun:
 
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