nuke_diver
Riding Solo
Can't offer anything but continued mojo hope it blows over without any fallout
Mental health check-in
- Thread starter Flamencology
- Start date
smurfco
Meatus McPrepuce
Hang in there dude! You got this!Well, since my surgery I've had some good days, and had some bad days. Gutters and strikes, as you will.
I cut myself off from alcohol completely following the surgery, I figured mixing that with the ibuprofen and/or norco would be bad, as well as inflammation issues. Fast forward a week, swelling has gone down, quit taking meds (pain from the surgery is minimal, the PT is what hurts), so picked up some beers. I still can't drive, so this was on the way home from a follow-up appt, asked my driver if we could stop by the store. Hell, at this point even my wife was offering to get beers for me still. So I finish those over a couple of days and then go dry again. Then wife goes to Costco, I ask if she can pick up some beer, she says sure, comes home with a 28 pack of Sam Adams Octoberfest.
Now, I had every intention of stretching that out, but ended up plowing through most of it in 2 days. Then picked up a 12 pack while out with the father in law (this was Tuesday) and called a friend from work to see if I could stop by while the kids did karate. Still can't drive, so riding along with the wife. I walk over to my friend's house from the dojo (already pretty buzzed) and proceed to have a few more. Well, by the time we get home I'm completely smashed, and just pass out on the couch where I've been sleeping anyway for arm/sling purposes.
That was the last straw. And it's not the first time it's been an issue, but it sounds like this is the last time. So I'm drying out, again, and it's all for the best I know. I still have resentment and anger over how it was handled but honestly I think I needed the ultimatum as a wake-up. I've made it pretty far on spite before ("oh yeah, you think I can't do this?"), and that was how I handled the first few days for sure, but now it just feels different. I'm absolutely positive not being able to drive anywhere right now is helping.
Anyway, tl;dr I'm on day 6 of quitting alcohol after 25 years of pretty much daily drinking and so far so good. Relationship is going to take some mending, that's to be expected. In other news, I've got a couple therapy sessions booked, so that should help, along with some other issues
The worst of it is, the allegations are so ridiculous (I've allegedly grabbed her breast at one of the busiest most populated parts of the day with tonnes of potential witnesses ) that people might assume it's so incredulous she can't have made it up.
The colleagues who are aware keep saying no one with any sense or that knows both of us will believe her but in my mind there'll always be a question mark hanging over me "yeah it doesn't sound like something jbj would do but why would she say that?"
It's completely fucked up. She's been offered mediation (which I'll refuse) or to submit a formal grievance several times which will result in an investigation so she won't do that. HR have given her a 2 week deadline, my gut instinct is that she'll go off with stress or do nothing which leaves everything hanging in the air and I still won't be able to defend myself as no formal complaint has been made so,on paper, I di t have anything to answer to.
I spoke to my union yesterday and they said it's surprisingly common for people who don't like being given direction (this is, to me, about her nose being put out of joint because I had to tell her to follow my instructions because she was making an arse of things and causing safeguarding issues) They don't understand why I wasn't informed when the allegation was first made or why HR have given her a deadline but here we are.
Peen Simmons
Let’s Get Obtuse!
Maybe she’s in the employ of a rival wedding dj. Perhaps she’s the sister of that bagpipe guy and this is all an elaborate revenge scheme. Could it be that MBS and the Saudis have finally tracked you down? Did you in anyway wrong Ed Sheeran? Does your dog owe money to a bookie? I mean, you don’t know what that animal did before coming to live with you.
This situation is fucked up, but maybe if you consider all the angles you can clear your name. If the movies have taught me anything, this is probably your best chance at redemption.
Lerxst
spaghetti and blankets
Workplace drama and politics are the worst. Mojo
I'm feeling ready to move on from the daily insanity of my current job but I find myself really unmotivated with the abysmal state of my local job market. Unsurprising considering how some of the region's largest employers have been shedding jobs like my dogs shed hair. Full time remote gigs seem a bit unstable & limited these days so no local options to fall back on is making me second guess if now is the right time or not.
I'm feeling ready to move on from the daily insanity of my current job but I find myself really unmotivated with the abysmal state of my local job market. Unsurprising considering how some of the region's largest employers have been shedding jobs like my dogs shed hair. Full time remote gigs seem a bit unstable & limited these days so no local options to fall back on is making me second guess if now is the right time or not.
Punchy
Slacker Supreme
Thanks man, appreciate it. So far it hasn't been much trouble at all, but I also can't drive myself anywhere. I think it'll get a little tougher to hang in there when I'm driving past the store 2x a day back and forth from work, maybe I just leave the credit card at home though. But, it does feel different this time, and I haven't been "missing it" or anything like that. Another thing I have going for me is that by the time I'll be able to drive again, I'll be past that three-week window they say it takes to make or break a habit. And the second therapist I met with seems to have a handle on a good set of tools for me to work with too.
Punchy
Slacker Supreme
Mojo man. I hate that trapped feeling that can sneak in when you're in that situation. I've been throwing out apps for a few different jobs lately too but nothing has been sticking. I'm just going to be the most middle of middle managers in civil service possible for the duration I guess.
Lerxst
spaghetti and blankets
It's rough out there these days. I've got some former colleagues that have been looking for quite a while now.
I don't know how anyone finds a job now with a big company or through the current hiring practices. I've watched my wife go through the process, and it seems so arbitrary now.
micwalt
Too Controversial To Have An Athleisure Line
My son recently graduated from college and has been doing Linkedin/Indeed/Zip Recruiter/etc. for the last couple months. Most of the time, he doesn't hear anything back at all. I think he's only had two actual interviews (and one sketchy, high-pressure sales pitch). It's abysmal.
Brian Krashpad
T1N2bM0
I'm so fortunate to have not really had to do any of that shite after my first "real" (post-law school) job. I did a couple interviews while I was in that job and could not stand the process. But when that firm dissolved in 2013, one of our clients hired me, plus I did piece work for a few other of that firm's clients on the side. I still do the latter, from home in my jammies as a sole practitioner.
Going into "soft retirement," as my small clutch of clients ages/retires, my work is slowing (I'm on Social Security at 68 already though still working). I actually had one client, who only used me very sporadically, die on me 3 or 4 years ago.
Good luck to everyone looking!
Going into "soft retirement," as my small clutch of clients ages/retires, my work is slowing (I'm on Social Security at 68 already though still working). I actually had one client, who only used me very sporadically, die on me 3 or 4 years ago.
Good luck to everyone looking!
Lerxst
spaghetti and blankets
My employer has done RIFs annually the past few years. Anecdotally I've seen folks struggle more every year of the past 3 years finding new roles. The difference between 3 years ago and this past year has been substantial.