Ah, found the drummers. This might get some flak but what I've done for a couple decades now is immediately replace the top head with a Remo Falams. It seems to make the sound play brittle but from a listening position you get a very different sound. It's a dark but not dead sound; kind of a fat...
Quiet can make the difference. I'm more concerned with my ears than the neighbors so I got into the habit of staying at the bottom of the dynamic range.
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lol I don't mind tracks done with samples but playing the pads? Gimme real drums and cymbals. I don't gig so the baggage isn't a problem.