Help! Well, I got food poisoning Believe or not it wasn’t fast food… Some fancy restaurant!

smurfco

smurfco

Meatus McPrepuce
Cheer me up, please, I spent the entire night from 10 PM last night until now puking and shitting my guts out. I’ve got a fever and chills. I have a bunch of Pedialyte here but if I can’t keep anything down, I’m going to have to go get some fluids or something because I have been pretty drained. Tell me about your worst experience or tell me something funny or nice to cheer me up please, please do this quickly. Thank you.
 
First off....life can be shitty some times

My worst off was back around 1996. I made some pork roast and I didn't cook it enough I think Anyway next day I woke upfeeling how you descibed it . I had a 1983 Chevy truck at the time and it was a manual without hyraulic cluctch, just a mechanical one so it took extra leg work. Anyway it was in the late fall and I didn't want to call anyone so I hopped in my truck and headed to the Medical center. My defroster didn't work so i drove with the windows down and could barely see, almost got hit on the way there.
After I checked in (this was like a community medeical place and not a hospital) they did the usual stuff and then the nurse (older lady) proceeded to stick a suppository up my ass since I couldn't hold anything down. They then stuck me in a dark rook and hooked me up to an IV for dehydration. I've never eaten pork roast since and I remember not eating for a couple days after. When I did finally eat it was a Top ramen and perhaps that's why i have a fondness now for ramen :embarrassed: it was the greatest thing I ever tasted after not eating for 2 days.
The end.


*edit* oh shit ...I forgot...they sent me home with a 3 day supply of suppositories so I had to stick them up my ass myself ;cry:
 
I was at a fancy restaurant... placed my order and we had started with appetizers and salad.

Even the salad was pretty fancy with crumbled cheeses and cracked pepper on top, garnished with these checkered wafers of cheese cooked to be crispy wafers.... and that's when my stomach started gurgling.

First it was little creaking from my stomach.... I called the waiter over and asked about the garnishing of the salad.... the black pepper crumbles on the top of the salad also included crumbled mushrooms. The kind that I'm highly allergic to. :messedup:

Distraught, I dropped some cash on the table for the apps, salad, and some tip.... but had to rush to my car as my stomach opened the gates of hell to my intestines and the creaks were intensifying to full blown gurgles, rumbles, groans, and wincing pain. My ass was clenched so tight because I knew if I even tried to squeak a fart it would be volcanic lava destroying the unsuspecting village that were the leather seats of my car.

Through my squinted, wincing brow I was able to break a few speed limits to get home in only 20 minutes..... where I went full "Jeff Daniels" for the next hour and a half. :cry:

 
Waffle House isn’t a fancy restaurant.

You’ll be suffering the next few days and it sucks. Hydrate best you can and make sure people are checking in on you.

ideally, your tub is close to your toilet
 
Oh yeah.... I forgot about a Chinese take out place in college where the guitarist in my band and I both got puke-our-guts-out sick. If it had ONLY been me, I would have figured that something was made with mushrooms I couldn't see, or they didn't understand when I said "no mushrooms... NO... MUSH... ROOMS..."

At one point when we were probably passing each other on our way to the bathroom, taking turns puking, I commented "I wonder if 'Cho-Sun' means 'Chinese Death Food'?" to which we both joked about for the next year or so whenever someone would bring up Chinese Take Out.

"Where do you guys wanna go?"

"Chinese Death Food... or Mama Bears?" :helper:
 
My child was complaining about the food at his day camp, so I told him the story of the year I went to camp and they served "ham loaf" that was actually a bunch of experimental turkey bacon that didn't come out right and was sold to the camp at a low low price. I vomited all over the table.
 
Oh wait.... this isn't a restaurant story.... but one year at Thankgiving at my parents house, my wife and I were there with our two daughters and my sister was there with her husband and 5 kids. Her oldest son was being really quiet and unsociable.... so once all the food was at the dining room table and she asked him to say grace.

He paused.... stood up.... opened his mouth... and puked all over the dining table. :chow:

The other dozen of us all jumped up, made sure he was okay, cleaned up the puke and then everyone was standing around feeling ill themselves and not knowing what to do.

I made sure he didn't puke on any of the food... made a plate... and sat down at the other end of the table and ate dinner by myself. :helper:
 
Back in the oughties I ate some pretty nasty kimchi at an Tenpenh in DC (an Asian fusion restaurant—remember Asian fusion?). I spent the night curled up on the bathroom floor, occasionally getting up to blast liquid death out of one hole or the other. I assume that it was staph because that’s the only kind of food poisoning that kicks in right away. I never ate there again.
 
If you ate dinner at fancy restaurants every night, then mixed in a Wendy's Bacon Bourbon burger, you would probably get the 24 hour shits too.
Try some 'hair of the dog' that bit you. Go back to that same sushi place and eat more octopus.

 
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