Listen to this - Just A Little

Verse
Monday Tuesday meeting room
Thursday Friday standup zoom
Always moving left of boom
It’s complicated

Text and teams and sync up calls
Strategies and whiteboard walls
Splashless dives and cannonballs
It’s complicated

Chorus
I could cry just a little
If you want me to
You could cry just a little
I’ll still tell you the truth

You could smile just a little
A gift from you to me
You could sigh just a little
And want me to be free

Verse
We could lie just a little
Like we used to do
You could spy just a little
If that would get you through

It’s not for nothing
You know I love you
But I’ve got something
That’s got nothing for you

Bridge
The little chair wasn’t big enough for you
When they prop you up
On the big stool
In the big room
Your feet don’t touch the ground

Chorus
I could cry just a little
If you want me to
You could cry just a little
I’ll still tell you the truth

You could smile just a little
A gift from you to me
You could sigh just a little
And want me to be free

Verse
Soccer mom homecoming queen
Weather girl and wedding theme
Who you are and who you’ve been
It’s complicated

Bridge
In your profile pic, you’re twelve years old
The picture still
Gets you in
Through the big doors
You don’t see that girl every day

Chorus
Lunch
At noon
Over zoom
In your room
Boom

Chorus
I could cry just a little
If you want me to
You could cry just a little
I’ll still tell you the truth

You could smile just a little
A gift from you to me
You could sigh just a little
And want me to be free
 
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In terms of the changes and melody, it’s kinda giving the whole Sabrina Carpenter, Chappel Roan, Dua Lipa retro pop thing — especially the cadence and melodic bit on “It’s complicated.” Which I dig. I think this is a good vibe.

The first two verse stanzas gave me Fountains of Wayne vibes, which combined with the retro pop setting kinda seemed like it was gonna trend into a kind of novelty pop way.

The chorus is wistful, which I dig as a counterpoint to the somewhat jokey first two verse stanzas.

I like the “soccer mom” verse. It’s rhythmically/phonetically interesting.

Lyrically the bridge seems flown in from a different, meaner song — kinda like a “short skirt, long jacket” rewrite Elvis Costello’s “Party Girl.”

Narrative-wise, I’d be inclined (because I’m a very basic bitch when writing character songs and not floaty atmospheric retro psych pop) to tighten up the plot/through line by using the second verse to explicitly the setting and the “you” character to make it clearer that the speaker in the chorus is commenting on her behavior/imploring change.

I’d also be tempted to simplify what the bridge is doing lyrics-wise and move that whole impressionistic noon/zoom/room/boom list from the later verse to the chorus. (I’d likely also be tempted to wiggle out of Zoom as a reference which already feels distinctly 4 to 5 years ago.)

In short, I think the verse structure/melody and the chorus are strong. But because the song is sort of a clockwork narrative of interlocking parts, it probably warrants a little revision to get to three tight “acts” where the object/you becomes clearer so that the more feels-based verse really pops. Like I get the sense that the singer is asking his special lady to stop being such a workaholic and to focus on the relationship that has become strained/complicated because the object has become hyper focused and has lost her complication/contradiction/spontaneity. I’d just make that a bit more explicit because this kind of relationship song kinda rewards clarity.

Which is why I write songs about vampires and spacemen and half-remembered philosophy texts.
 
Peen Simmons said:
In terms of the changes and melody, it’s kinda giving the whole Sabrina Carpenter, Chappel Roan, Dua Lipa retro pop thing — especially the cadence and melodic bit on “It’s complicated.” Which I dig. I think this is a good vibe.
Click to expand...
I'm de facto retro, and I have been playing pop music lately. Good Luck Babe kills at the local open mic.
Peen Simmons said:
The first two verse stanzas gave me Fountains of Wayne vibes, which combined with the retro pop setting kinda seemed like it was gonna trend into a kind of novelty pop way.
Click to expand...
It's an office story, and Fountains of Wayne are one of the few bands that wrote pop songs about office stories.
Peen Simmons said:
The chorus is wistful, which I dig as a counterpoint to the somewhat jokey first two verse stanzas.

I like the “soccer mom” verse. It’s rhythmically/phonetically interesting.
Click to expand...
The lines are seven beats long, which is uncommon but felt natural.
Peen Simmons said:
Lyrically the bridge seems flown in from a different, meaner song — kinda like a “short skirt, long jacket” rewrite Elvis Costello’s “Party Girl.”
Click to expand...
Spot on
Peen Simmons said:
Narrative-wise, I’d be inclined (because I’m a very basic bitch when writing character songs and not floaty atmospheric retro psych pop) to tighten up the plot/through line by using the second verse to explicitly the setting and the “you” character to make it clearer that the speaker in the chorus is commenting on her behavior/imploring change.
Click to expand...
The chorus is from her to him, and the bridge is from him to her. The verses are much less clear.
Peen Simmons said:
I’d also be tempted to simplify what the bridge is doing lyrics-wise and move that whole impressionistic noon/zoom/room/boom list from the later verse to the chorus. (I’d likely also be tempted to wiggle out of Zoom as a reference which already feels distinctly 4 to 5 years ago.)

In short, I think the verse structure/melody and the chorus are strong. But because the song is sort of a clockwork narrative of interlocking parts, it probably warrants a little revision to get to three tight “acts” where the object/you becomes clearer so that the more feels-based verse really pops. Like I get the sense that the singer is asking his special lady to stop being such a workaholic and to focus on the relationship that has become strained/complicated because the object has become hyper focused and has lost her complication/contradiction/spontaneity. I’d just make that a bit more explicit because this kind of relationship song kinda rewards clarity.

Which is why I write songs about vampires and spacemen and half-remembered philosophy texts.
Click to expand...
Exposition is important.
 
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Madame Vice President and the Hit Man

Kamala walks down the hallway of a government office in Sacramento. She enters the waiting room of her office, where Rahm is dispensing spin, extracting promises, and glad-handing donors. She goes into her office and signals Rahm to join her.

Kamala: I’ve had a lot of meetings that aren’t on the calendar.
Rahm: I’ve noticed. No worries. Everything is moving forward according to plan.
Kamala: The meetings have been with Washington. I’m going to run for vice-president.
Rahm: You’re the most qualified, you’re the best candidate, you’ve earned it.
Kamala: It’s going to create a lot of change around here.
Rahm: I think I would be a great chief of staff for you.
Kamala: I think you should become a special advisor to Gavin.
Rahm: I get it, vice president is a national role. I would bring you California. But you already have California. You need the nation.
Rahm: Gavin and I go back. But not the way you and I go back.
Kamala: I never cry in front of other people. But if you wanted me to, I could cry, just a little. Just for you.
 
The analysis by Peen is impressive, and much more detailed, on point than anything I would say. I don't tend to write narrative as much as metaphor and symbolism to express an experience.
 
Sorry--i lost my login after a phone switch, so I'm late to this.

Groove and chord progression are impeccable. It could have easily been a Ween-esque pisstake, given the lyric, but it's got a legit bossa nova vibe that still supports the lyric.

Chorus is real catchy. Bridge has such a great melody and is such a great shift from the body of the song, I almost only want to hear it once so it stands out.

For the verses, I'd either commit to the "it's complicated" throughout, or not at all. In addition, I'm not sure I can trace the storyline through the song.

I agree with the comparisons made so far; I'd add that I could see this with a Steely Dan treatment, given the jazzy feel and sardonic lyric.
 
Played it out at the Barrels and Brews open mic. I started with Cat Stevens Wild World, went into Chappel Roan Good Luck Babe, and then Just A Little. I brought the Eastman archtop instead of the Martin because the Eastman has a floating pickup and output jack, but the output kept crackling at inopportune moments. I’m going back to the Martin. I could have performed better but the song went over. The audience preferred Chappel Roan, but hey, that’s heady company.
 
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