I think I got your Door Dash by mistake

[Honkridge]

I came back from walking the dog to find a half gallon of ice cream and a box of doughnuts on my porch. It's yours ammirite???

 

[Peen Simmons]

Hey, where’s my personal massager?!?

 

[Honkridge]

Hey, where’s my personal massager?!?

I kept that

 

[jrockbridge]

Those plastic grocery bags are banned here. I'll take the Krispy Kreme's.

 

[baimun]

I came back from walking the dog to find a half gallon of ice cream and a box of doughnuts on my porch. It's yours ammirite???

Typically my Kroger order is two containers of kitty litter, a dozen breakfast burritos, a case of diet coke, a jar of bread and butter pickles, and a dozen eggs.

 

[jp_nyc]

If I found a gallon of ice cream and a box of Krispy Kremes on the porch I’d either get religion or assume that my husband is cheating with a feeder.

 

[LeftyTom]

Typically my Kroger order is two containers of kitty litter, a dozen breakfast burritos, a case of diet coke, a jar of bread and butter pickles, and a dozen eggs.

Free range? Extra large?

 

[Chicken Man]

Hey, where’s my personal massager?!?

This post reminds me of the time I was in high school and my then girlfriend and I were at the checkout behind a lady who was buying two items--a pound of cheddar and a tube of "personal lubricant". I don't know if my GF saw it, but my virgin soul was turned inside out by the possibilities.

 

[baimun]

Free range? Extra large?

Amish Free Range.